Sacred Cows at work....& the past 2 weeks events!!!!

So 1 month in to the trip & I am beginning to develop a theory about the Sacred Cows, which my belief for has become stronger over the past few weeks & enhanced by having seen first hand the lack of disrespect the locals have for the environment....freely discarding of rubbish into the street.....severe lack of bins.....mountains of crap covering the city centres & outskirts. There is a theory that when the rains come its washes all the rubbish away & so therefore no requirement for a clean up program. My view however is that the 1000s of herds of cows are deemed as sacred & holy due to the fact that they are specifically bred recycling cows. Each herd in each town can be seen going by their daily business, with one munching away on cardboard, another happily chomping on some plastic waste, the next cruching through a discarded beer bottle & so on until all varieties of waste are accounted for. Am not sure how much they are getting paid or what kind of afterlife they are being promised but they seem happy enough & gives them less appeal to the Western traveller pining for a steak. We shall be holding firm with the goat & sparrow like chicken dishes for now.

So what of the past 2 weeks.....there's been camel riding.....desert sleeping......stinking headaches......dodgy priest dodging......& Martina throwing herself into ditches.

Having been driven into the Thar desert & the town of Jailsalmer by a bus driver who could easily have taken up a post on the Snake Train at Drayton Manor Park we set out on our camel safari.....3 days & 2 nights of fact based fun & entertainment. Unfortunately we did not hit it off too well with the 3 inbred desert-born guides. This could possibly have been because I quizzed them for some time on whether desert villages had purely inter-family marriage. The 6 hours spent each day bouncing up & down was more than enjoyable......but with sand filling certain areas of the body & a number of flee bites to the backside we felt our time was up. Fortunately waiting back in Jailsalmer was the luxury of a swimming pool, probably rain water but no comlplaints. Another day in the searing heat to visit Jailsalmer Fort & Gadi Sagar with the attractive Tilon-ki-Pol, a gateway to the city constructed by a local prostitute.

On we moved again to the steaming hot blue city of Jodhpur & the dominating Meherangrah fort.....at which we took in the full tourist option of headset & audioguide (needless to say there will be no photographic evidence of me using such device). It was here that my cockiness at battling the spices & heat succumbed.....I was now the proud owner of a 3 day thumping head & backside to rival any Johnny Cash classic. Not to be deterred.....a brief run around the city to see Clock Tower, Sardar Market & The Omelette Shop....then to try our luck at being allowed into Umaid Bhawan Palace, home to the Maharaja & family. Looking very much like a couple of vagrants we were not holding out much hope.....however Martina's convincing book writing tale persuaded the pleasant doorman to allow us to view the reception & lobby.......although I could see in his eyes that he knew at any moment 1 of us was to start rolling around & licking the immaculately clean marble floors......was good while it lasted.

Next stop Pushkar, the second holiest town in the country and home to 1000 temples, 1 of the few Brahmin Temples in the world & numerous priest hassling you to part with multiples of Rs100 in return for relasing some flowers into the lake & a red ribbon around your wrist......bargain. We partook, collected our ribbon & gave no money......deal. Other than aimlessly watch pilgrims bathing in the ghats & see the sun set over the mountains Pushkar is fairly uneventful. So it was here where Martina decided that my weeks of opting for the $4 rooms with a lack of A/C was enough. Whilst walking home on the 1st night.....bearing in mind street lighting is non existent & my choice of residence was out of town.....I made to cross the road only to hear a slight cry for help. On turning round I was greeted with the not so graceful sight of Martina disappearing into the roadside ditch & landing arse down into the city sewage. Fortunately being a sacred town any bathroom extracts, animal dispense & general waste will have been of the highest quality & purity......so with no more lost than a little pride & 1 flipflop she bravely dusted herself off, gave me a look of distress cum laughter & soldiered on. Needless to say the next morning we made our way to the extortionately priced $12 deluxe air conditioned room complete with Olympic swimming pool where we stayed for the next three days.

The past two days have been spent travelling on stuffy buses with a brief stop in the overly pushy pink city of Jaipur. As always there are ups & downs in every place & this was to prove the same. A rickshaw ride took us around the Old (Pink) City & up to the Temple of the Sun God (Monkey Temple) at Galta. Casually climbing through the rocky barren gorge to view the thousands of monkeys at play & bathing pilgrims, we made our way down the other side to greet our driver. It seemed the communication barrier had played its part again....prairie shit....so back over we go in the mid afternoon torturous sun......good exercise I guess. Three fine things coming out of Jaipur have been our second Bollywood movie at the Raj Mandir Cinema, which is so ugly its almost verges on beauty.....being chased by a 15 year old boy with rabies & the discovery of Indias best beer to date......Godfather 10000+ Strong Beer.....8% of pure amber nectar delights....& at Rs90 for a 650ml bottle you can be happily tucked up in bed on 3 with only $6 missing from the pocket.

Should keep you entertained for a few days.....so for now I bid you farewell & shisha ho shisha ho. X

Ps As of today we are in Agra & there is a lot of talk about a place called the Taj Mahal.....might check it out....providing time allows of course.